Don’t even fuck around and try to order water from a fast food drive-thru. First of all they always act like no one’s ever ordered a water before. They always have to make sure they heard you right. “Did you say a water?” “Yes a water.” Then after they get over the shock of you ordering a water you pull up and they give you this jumbo ass straw and this little ass child's cup. It’s not even a real cup, it’s some happy meal shit – wait, it’s not even a cup at all. It’s one of those containers they use to put condiments in like, to dip your fry in your ketchup kinda things. And what the fuck do they expect me to do with that big ass straw and this little ass joke cup? My eye isn't dry, I didn’t ask for a drop of water, I want a refreshment. If I drink this I will not be refreshed. I ordered water to quench my thirst, that condensation you call water ain't quenching shit. (Written when bottled water wasn't every where and popular...you'd ask for that free water)
Damn, I don’t like driving with a strange pair of shoes. I usually wear boots and you know they're kinda heavy, but you get used to them after you wear them everyday. You end up getting use to the way they feel. But one time I fucked up and wore some light ass tennis shoes. I got in the car and pressed the gas peddle. I almost flew threw a wall. The freakin' car took off all fast and shit because of this light ass shoe.
Have you seen those dumb muthafuckas standing in front of places waving around those big ass arrows and shit that say “open house” and shit. Well, the other day I’m at the corner and I see this fool with this big ass arrow that says “Pizza $2.99” and it’s pointing down the street. So I go down the street. I went like 12 miles and didn’t find shit. I looked all over the place and I didn’t see no fuckin’ pizza. I went back to where that fool was standing, got out of the car grabbed his stupid arrow and broke it in half. I told that fool “you need to be more fuckin’ specific, you made me waste all my freakin' gas and time looking for pizza that’s → that way." He looks at me and says "it’s right behind me." What? Then why don’t you have the arrow pointing behind you foolio. Ridiculous!!!!!!! C.G. Lucas Original